Oh hey, this is still a thing.

So last time we were all going to get together, in October, we kind of got hit by the remnants of a hurricane, which kind of put a damper on the Third Annual Houston Monster Mash. Thankfully, it looks like the CUT got rained in too, so reality didn't collapse. Good for that.

But, with November, it was time to get shit back on track. Part of that involved the somewhat delayed That Is A Thing Official Movie Game. The rules, for anyone who's not familiar, are simple. We watch a movie, and then all you horrible monsters get to nitpick it and write down what the movie got right, and what the movie got wrong. And this time around, we turned to that classic of 80's cinema, The Monster Squad. Artemis complained because the movie didn't have any wizards in it, but eh, what can you do. Wizards, for the record, are bullshit.

On a side note, I think this movie may somehow be the secret origin of our own Major Brayker. Seriously, there's a kid with a leather jacket and a bow and arrow and everything.

It's a good thing we did have another round of the That Is a Thing Movie Game, as, once again, we got a new recruit. A new recruit who, despite being a sparkly flower-fairy or something, was even more clueless than I was when I first showed up. I mean, seriously, I was (and still am) overwhelmed, but at least I didn't say shit like “why can't we just get along with The Truth?”

Here's what we learned.

Somehow, sparkly flower man got dubbed “New New Guy.” So you guys need to make sure you say “new” TWICE whenever you talk to him. New New Guy said I was a mean asshole, and he was right on that account. You jerks have made me this way. If he survives long enough, maybe he'll get properly jaded like I am, and he'll do heroic responsible shit. I kind of doubt it, because Tinkerbell bullshit. Like if he ever gets grumpy he'll probably just ask all the kids in the audience to clap their hands, and he'll be fine, while all I've got is alcohol.

And if you'll excuse me, I need another drink.

So yeah, we had more shit to do on top of the That Is A Thing Movie Game. Apparently, some kids on a Church of Ultimate Truth scholarship went to a techno dance party, which Father Frank, Artemis, Anc, and Kendrick went to investigate. Apparently this guy named DJ Unreal was broadcasting Truthy songs, or something? Frank and company got that shit in line, and so we can add four dead Servants to our scorecard. Good on them.

While that was going on, Ash and Cora went to go check out our haunted ladies' room, where a Halloween Goblin was actually trying to get our help, or something? As apparently there was a big haunted Abomination tree in the fairy magic forest dimension. Ash, Wolf (who is not a werewolf), Penny, Jared, and probably a couple more people whose names I didn't catch went and killed the shit out of it. Good on them, too. Though I will note, for the record, dressing up in a frilly Alice in Wonderland dress apparently doesn't do anything to scare goblin-abominations or whatever. Sorry Ash.

Once everyone got to stretch their legs and go do violent things, we reconvened back at the Citadel, at which point we needed to do some announcements and elections and stuff.

Cora, for the record, stepped down as Quartermaster, and so Artemis was elected to take her place. So go bother her in order to get in on some of that sweet, sweet Menat action.

Seeing as of how I've got a lot on my plate, Sasha has stepped up to act as the Cavalry's new Voice- updates will still be posted here, it's just that she'll be the boots on the ground for it. I may also provide “editorial commentary” (read: drunken sarcasm) as needed.

Oh, and I stepped down as Cell Leader, too.

This isn't due to any fuck-up on my part, mind you. Rather, I think it's because I'm too competent. In the fucked up world of The Accord, I've actually been approached by Important People on the Council for an assignment. I'm not gonna go into the details, (you know, it being important classified shit), but it's the kind of thing from the kind of people that you can't really say “no” to. All you guys need to know is that I won't be in Houston very often. Maybe things will change, maybe not. We'll see.

A properly proctored election ensued, at which point Apophis was elected as Cell Leader. And as fucked up as it is, he's the best man (to use a loose definition of the term) for the job. I'd say I expect the lot of you to treat him with the same respect you did to me; but that would mean you'd just treat him with no respect, which is probably a bad idea. Seriously, if you fuck with Apophis, I'm pretty sure he will eat you, and you'll probably even deserve it. But, here's the thing. Apophis may be a horrible greebly squid monster- but he's a professional. He knows if reality breaks, he'll go with it, so he's going to make sure reality doesn't break. No matter what.

So yeah. I'm … kind of back to where I started in the Accord. No office. No responsibilities. It's just that I now have all the experience and cynicism to kind of sort of deal with this shit. It honestly feels kind of great. Fucked up, I know. And shit is still fucked, I know. It's just … well, if Houston gets Quarantined, it's not my fault. It's yours. I'm gonna try to make it back to Houston every now and again, but I'm making no guarantees. I just have the feeling that, if I try to return in a couple of months, I'm gonna come back and find everything on fire and Abominations running around and otherwise shit is gonna look like Redemption. Which, in case you didn't make it, was fucking apocalyptic awful.

So y'know what? Get your shit together. Prove me wrong, you fucking maniacs.

I'll be in touch.