Shit, meet Fan.

Yes, I know, I missed the December entry. I'm sure all of you horrible monsters were just beside yourselves with concern. Or maybe you were just salivating at the chance to feast upon my succulent blood/internal organs/feelings/whatever else you eat. But, thankfully, I'm still here! I'm just gonna say that I didn't post in December because of that Reality-Wave-Time-Paradox anomaly that's going around. 'cause that's a Thing, apparently.


(Actually, to tell the truth, I just didn't post in December 'cause I was busy moving to a newer, more fireproof apartment).


Anyway, January! The month, that is, not the Frankenstein (more on her later). There was a LOT going on, so here's a quick rundown:

Turns out that my old apartment complex WASN'T taken over by Michael Jackson loving lizard people. In fact, it was taken over by people in the thrall of a Michael Jackson loving Sloth Demon. 'cause...that's a Thing. And the infection/cult/whatever had spread to the hospital by some of the people who got run over during the last debacle. Thankfully, the Amazing Dr. Watts led an expedition to contain the situation, so now the Sloth Demon (which is a thing) is no longer a problem. Though apparently this Sloth Demon might have been a Believer...but apparently Dr. Watts knows a ritual to make it less bad when a Believer dies? I find this both practical and more than a little disturbing, because that's like a loophole for when you inevitably want to murder each other. Yeeeah.


Oh, and some new girl named Grayson (who, might I add, is a Thing), totally made Maya cry. Seriously, that's low. (And for the record, Maya doesn't eat babies. Probably).

In more good news, courtesy of the Lake Charles Deathsquad Patrol (and some of our local guys like Ivan), we can cross three names off of The List. To whit, here's an update for anyone keeping score:

1) Reverend Damian Rominati, located at the CUT
2) Christopher Spiers, located at the CUT, RQ 110 WTF IS THIS SHIT PROBABLY A BRAIN WIZARD (more on this later)
3) Julie Wick, deputy assistant to the Mayor, RQ 10
4) Adam Voss, Houston PD Deputy of Operations [Deceased]
5) Charles Gunther, Former City Councilman [Currently out of the State, Because Prostitute Scandal]
6) Miriam MacDonald, City Councilwoman, RQ 10
7) Melissa Redding, City Councilwoman, RQ 10
8) Robert Gage, Firm of Gage Whitney Ross [Deceased]
9) Craig Singleton, CEO of Atlas Energy
10) Allison Van Fleet, CFO of Alliance Financial Solutions [Deceased]
11) Michael Pine, Board member of Pine Pharmaceuticals
12) Antonio Cruz, owner of Cruz Construction [Deceased]

Yeah. Notice something up there, guys? This gets to the...not good but not totally bad news part. In that, myself, and two of the other normal people (there are damnably few of us in Houston these days) went on a recon mission to CUT HQ. And, I might add, things would've gone off without a hitch if we hadn't run into Christopher Spiers, who, I may mention, is a fucking BRAIN WIZARD or some shit, who was able to ID us as soon as we rolled up there through his weird-ass mind reading powers.

Thankfully, we managed to get our asses out of there in one piece, but we had to abort the recon. And, might I add, I got a read on Spiers, showing he's the first CUT member we're up against who's definitely a Thing. Anyway, Spiers did some supervillain-y gloating, going on about how we're all misguided and we're all going to die. Also, apparently the bad guys call us 'Accordians' which is kind of hilarious? Maybe Weird Al's on our side. I'm willing to believe anything at this point.

Aaaand now we're on to the bad news. See, last few months, we've been working a kind of...cold war sort of situation. Gathering intel, putting out fires, biding our time...and now, well, now the 'cold' part isn't that applicable anymore. As, not only does the CUT know what we're up to, but it was SOMEONE'S bright idea to run a raid on the CUT church mere hours after the aborted recon mission. As one would expect, this unplanned, front-on assault went to shit, which resulted in half the Lake Charles Deathsquad Patrol getting magically teleported to Galveston, and January walking into the CUT base itself, where she was summarily killed by something even scarier than she was. Yeesh.

Now...Apophis said that January could come back, because that's what Frankensteins do, apparently? But it's complicated, and for all we know, maybe she'll come back...wrong. Like, corrupted or mutated or something. The jury's still out if she'll go on the memorial wall just yet. And as much as she creeped me the fuck out, I kind of hope we can staple her back together or jump start her or however the hell that works. We need a mad scientist on staff to explain this kind of shit.

On the other hand, January dying in January would be fittingly dramatic.

I hate drama.

Long story short, it looks like we're going into an actual shooting-war now, so all of you horrible night creatures be careful. I have the feeling that things are going to get worse before they get better. January might not be the last name we'll have to add to the wall.