Die Hard with fangs.

I guess I have superpowers now.

“Oh no!” you say, terribly concerned. “What happened to New Guy? He's been bitten by a vampire/werewolf/radioactive spider, and thusly is cursed with terrible powers of the supernatural!”

Thankfully, this isn't what happened (not like any of you care much about what's biting me anyway)- rather...because of some shenanigans with time cubes in India or something (seriously, ask Cora), there's been another one of those reality 'tweaks.' It's got something to do with low RQ- and seeing as of how my personal RQ is a whopping ZERO (and I intend to keep it that way), it changes the nature of reality or...something. Basically, I'm SO NORMAL I've gone all the way around the bend to having fancy powers.

Or, well, a fancy power. Whenever there's a Servant around, I get a piercing headache. And trust me, I know the difference between a hangover headache and a servant headache already. I'll go more into this later.

Anyway. Saturday! It was a pretty small gathering- Brayker was off doing MIB shit, which left me and Apophis in charge. We also had some new faces show up- some kind of hobo-wizard named Anc (I'm still not sure if that's supposed to be like ancient Sumerian or something), and a vampire named Jared or something. I'm not entirely sure if Jared's actually a vampire, though. He's a creepy bastard, sure, but he doesn't have a eurotrash accent or a cape or anything. Dude certainly doesn't talk like a vampire, but what do I know.

So yeah. We socialize, fill Anc and Jared in on the whole 'war for reality' business- and then I got a phone call from Wayngro. See, apparently, some fancy-pants vampire dude named Aldo Santorum or something wanted to set up a meeting with Brayker & Co at our chosen place and time. Of course, life being what it is, Wayngro told me that this Aldo guy was a Servant- he's Lester's vampire-boss, or whatever the term is. I passed this info along to everybody else. We decided to put this off until we had Brayker and/or Penny handy, so I guess that'll be on the agenda in June? My feeling is it's gonna go to shit, but hey, if it's an ambush, hopefully we can kill some Servants or something.

It's a good thing we didn't go, however. A little while after we discussed this phone call, my Servant-Sense starts going off. Luke checked the security system...and found it was down. Then, Artemis found a dead body in the bathroom- Agent Tam, the TFV guard we had watching The Captain.

Yeah, that was definitely an “oh shit” kind of moment.

Jacques and I run down to check on The Captain- and, low and behold, his cell's empty. And on top of that, we also found the door to the armory was open, and a quick check of the inventory reveals a pair of big-ass pistols and some incendiary ammo missing. Greeeat.

We start searching the Citadel- at which point Jacques and Apophis and some of the others find that the big greebly chimera thing we captured a few months ago has been let out of the vault. Another “oh shit” kind of moment. Thankfully, they killed it...only to have it turn into a bunch of scorpions so they had to kill those too. Very messy.

Eventually, we get everyone together to start another sweep of the Citadel, since I at least knew the bastard was still there. That's when gravity turned sideways. As in, the wall is now the floor. We see The Captain strut out from a hallway 'above' us, and he starts blazing away with those giant guns of his. It was a nasty fight- we managed to take the bastard down, but not before Apophis kind of exploded. But he's better now, so that's good.

(On a side note, everyone who packs a gun should carry Luck Bugs).

Ellen the Sharkgirl got in the killing blow when she bit the bastard's jugular out. Only she didn't turn into a shark or anything, it was just, uh, her. Pretty impressive, but also horrifying, so that means Ellen really is a good fit for the cell.

Once he went down, my headache stopped, gravity went back to normal, and we were left to clean up. Turns out, “The Captain” was an impostor- he had some weird magic going on to just make him look like “our” Captain. See, after some weird psychic investigation from Cora and Artemis, best we can figure, somehow this wizard jerkass made himself look like The Captain, then switched places using weird teleporty magic, and then he started sabotaging everything. We stopped him before he could do any more damage, but it was pretty rough. The real Captain's still MIA- I think Artemis said something about using her magic to track him, though? Anybody with weird bloodhound powers should probably get started on that.

Just another day in The Accord. We've got a lot to run down in June, looks like. I'd say “I wouldn't have it any other way,” but that would be a fucking lie.