I dodged a bullet tonight, folks. Okay,
maybe not literally, but still. More on that later.
I missed the last schindig. I had my
reasons (it's just entirely coincidental that we went and kicked the
CUT beehive the month before). As I understand it, things pretty much
went to hell without me, which is both depressing and not surprising.
But apparently January's still alive? Or Apophis managed to stitch
her back together and jump-started her off an old car battery? I
dunno.
Anyway, here's a rundown of last
night's shenanigans, in case you were lucky enough to miss it.
INTRODUCTIONS:
Jackie: Apparently, one of Weylin's
ex-girlfriends or something? Or at least she beat him up once. Father
Frank made the crack that he was “pussy whipped.” (And here I
didn't know Inquisitor priests could make jokes?) Lady allegedly
turns into a tiger, and I really hope I'll never see her do it.
Mr. Scalpel: Dude's a surgeon (and
he'll be sure to tell you about it). Cool guy, though. Showed up last
month but whatever, I just met him. Also he has super bullets in his
gun, which is kinda cool I guess? With any luck I won't be in need in
of his services, like...ever.
Hacker Dude: For the record, I was not
nearly as clueless as this guy when I first showed up. Seriously. At
least I have a thrilling and horrific origin story, as opposed to “I
clicked on Lovecraft.exe, and now I am joining the Accord.”
POLITICS
Okay, so, it USED to be, the Accord was
set up by semi-autonomous regional councils, all under the “guidance”
of the High Council, which, I might add, includes a Dracula.
But now, somebody (probably Dracula)
got the great idea to dissolve the regional councils, so now there's
a “Parliament” in which each cell has somebody to argue on the
internet lists for them to try to decide policy, or something.
So yeah. We talked about this a little
bit at the meeting, and held a preliminary vote for who our
Parlimentarian (or whatever the term is) would be. I was nominated,
but thankfully, not elected, 'cause I really have no idea what I'm
talking about and it's really all I can do to deal with you
horrible monsters as opposed to more assholes from out of town. As of
this moment, Father Frank's in the lead, and more power to him.
Brayker will probably make the official announcement thing at...some
point. Yeah.
CASE
FILES
And,
because it's never a quiet evening whenever I hang out with a bunch
of werewolves and changelings and paramilitary ghost-zombies or
whatever, here's a general breakdown of WTF's going down right now:
THE
HEART THIEF
Okay,
so apparently Ethan whatshisface, the murderhobo from Lake Charles,
went poking around and he found that Craig Singleton (from the
Wayngro List) just got whacked (along with his guard dogs and
guard...guards).
Various
investigations both physical and supernatural showed that this was
all the work of The Heart Taker- a dude who came across the Houston
Accord's radar back in like 2011? (On a sidenote, do we even have
anyone in the cell who was active in the Accord back in 2011? If not,
this says rather depressing things about Accordion turnover).
Anyway,
the general thought is that the Heart Taker is a Slasher, which is a
Thing. So, y'know, Jason Vorhees shit. You'd think he'd stick to
chopping up horny teenagers, but apparently that's not the Heart
Taker's M.O. No, instead, this is some real Ingmar Bergman shit, in
that the Heart Taker challenges you to a game of chess, and if you
lose (which happens like 80 percent of the time, dude's really good
at Chess), he eats your heart. My guess is that the Heart Taker does
this to get your power or soul or something. The good news is, he at
least just ate a Servant, so...that kind of helps? Maybe?
MEMORY
WIPE
So
Michelle and a few other folks mentioned that they...kind of
remembered someone, but not really? Like they knew that there was a
“someone” who was important, with a phone number and an address
and stuff, but looks into said phone numbers and addresses
revealed...nothing. Like someone had been just written out of
reality. Sounds kind of like a more focused version of Quarantine,
maybe? Though if it were a proper Quarantine, there wouldn't be any
trace left for us to figure it out. There's probably some more
important stuff to note here, but I forgot.
Wait.
Fuck.
FUR ON
FANG
So,
remember how the local Purist Werewolves and the local Vampires are
all mad at each other? Well, it looks like they're going from a proxy
war to an actual war. Normally, I wouldn't care, because apparently
Purist Werewolves are jerks, and so are Vampires, but there might be
a believer or two scattered in on either side, and if they died, that
would be bad. They went and had a West Side Story kind of rumble in
the zoo anyway last night, which was quick and dirty and we really
don't have any idea about besides that. Huh.
AN EYE
FOR AN EYE
Michael's
dead.
He was
that creepy vampire guy in the leather jacket who just hung out in
the back of the room. Honestly, I didn't know him that well, but
folks said he was pretty useful on 'away team' missions, which means
he was good at killing shit. Good on him.
But
he's dead now. As apparently, when he was on the way to the big
Werewolf vs. Vampire throwdown, Spiers teleported Michael and his car
right off of the highway and...well, into somewhere else. Somewhere
else where a bunch of CUT cultists killed the shit out of him in some
some horrible and painful way.
So
yeah, another star on the board. Touching memorial, sure.
But...here's the thing. At our little memorial service thing, someone
asked “does anyone know Michael's last name?”
Nobody
did.
I hope
you bastards remember more about me when the time comes.
But
let's not be fatalistic, because I've lasted this long with pretty
much no idea what I'm doing, so there's that?
…but
now I'm getting morbidly curious about this shit that's going down in
Redemption in a few weeks.
So
yeah. For the record, my last name is Willis.
