One Last Thing

Hey there, Things. Been awhile, hasn't it?

I've been laying low for awhile-- ever since Senator Wells' death, really, but I've been doing what I can to help out from behind the scenes.

Until recently.

A little while after the smoke started clearing after Operation: Damned Throne, Dracula called me up personally and “invited” me to check out the strange 'Four Sided Door' at the center of the island. Naturally, since ancient super-vampires fucking terrify me, I did exactly what he asked.

Thankfully, I wasn't the only one there-- Dracula brought together Accordists of every stripe to check that shit out. Just from the people I recognized, there was F13, Cora Kirkwood, Irene Norton, Selma, Ingrid Madrazo, Blue Mudra, Badger, Lilith, Silas Magnus, Simon, and probably a whole bunch more people who will undoubtedly start swearing at me for forgetting to mention them. Let's just call it 'an assload,' and leave it at that.

So yeah. At first, I was a little more terrified than usual when I started hearing about this door-- I figured that as one of the token RQ 0 mortals I'd get shoved through the weird creepy door first, but it turns out as soon as somebody gave the go ahead, people started piling through the door like a Wal Mart on Black Friday.

Inside, we found ... a room. Clocks and watches stopped inside, and any outside transmissions like cell signals or radio waves immediately cut out. Oh, and apparently everyone who set foot in the room instantly lost all of their 'wooj' and was reduced in capacity to a lowly human. How terrible.

The room itself was stuffed with mementos-- photos, letters, and even flash drives from dozens of different realities. Turns out, the room is something of a bottleneck between universes-- it was the last stop for the final survivors of at least 70 different universes (to judge by the coin-flip chart), if not more.

I don't know who any of these people were, but they deserve to be remembered.  

Honestly, the amount of information there was overwhelming-- I tried to take in as much as I could, but I know I missed a lot. So if any of you Things out there hung onto the flash drives or letters or whatever, I encourage you to share them with the Accord at large-- I'd like to set up an archive of all that somewhere before I go-- but I'm getting ahead of myself.

So yeah. The documents and recordings we found didn't paint a pretty picture-- they were all from realities that had fallen to The Truth-- with or without Smith's presence. There was even a 'map' (which I should have taken a picture of it) showing how Smith's travels through the multiverse cause The Truth to ripple out into 'adjacent' universes he's never visited. So, y'know, fuck that guy.

The fallen realities each had their own stories ... of which we only got bits and pieces. Hell, there was even a reality where I was the final survivor, so ... uh, I guess I'm kind of proud of that? Then again, there was also a reality where Cora was the last survivor and apparently in that one other-me made out with Lilith once which terrifies me because, again, ancient super-vampire.

The real find in the room, however, was a series of recordings that Smith left for us. In these, he explained multiversal theory, and how The Truth is more a force of nature than anything as dimensions try to consolidate themselves. Furthermore, according to Smith, our reality has come closest to 'winning.' Thing is, we all know how Belief works, so our reality will never be truly safe from The Truth until something's done about all the believers (i.e: us).

And, people have mentioned this before on the mailing list, but I'm gonna break down the three options for anyone who doesn't feel like digging through however the hell many messages that are clogging up your inbox right now.

FIRST OPTION, ESCAPE. Through the use of the 'Magnus Tunnels,' developed by Silas Magnus from weirdo shit brought over from the Technocrat dimension, it's possible (through the use of a shitload of Unreality Fuel) to leave our dimension and show up in another one where the battle against The Truth is already underway. Thing is, the way dimensional bullshit works, the Magnus Tunnels will scatter their 'passengers' through infinite realities. Two Believers who step through the same tunnel will wind up in different universes, though there's an infinitesimally small chance two Believers who go through two different tunnels may wind up in the same place. So it's you, alone, in a completely new world, off to fight The Truth some more. Hope you like playing John Connor.

SECOND OPTION, FORGET: So there's this technique called 'Averment.' Basically, it's capable of cleansing someone of Belief. Great! The catch is, it also gives the subject a case of amnesia for the whole period of time they were a Believer. This, of course, ranges from 'inconvenient' to 'fucking impossible' from person to person. Oh, and if you ever do get those memories back, you're a Believer again, and The Truth can start pounding on the walls to reality again. Oops. Just from a personal perspective, this option's out of the question for me. I may be a puny mortal, but I'm also a damned good investigator. If I woke up one day, missing five years of my life ... I don't know how, but I would find out what the hell happened, and then I'd be responsible for starting the War for Reality all over again. And damned if I'm gonna let myself do that after all this time. Which brings us to the next option ...

THIRD OPTION, THE BLACK DOOR: On the other side of the 'Waiting Room of Realities,' there was a black door-- complete with that 'Abandon all Hope All Ye who Enter Here' quote from Dante above it. According to Smith (and I don't see any reason for him to lie-- especially if he laid out the other two options), the Door leads to The Truth ... which is the 'Primary' reality that the universe wants to return itself to. The 'Primary' world is much like ours-- cars, jobs, stupid cat videos, beer, whatever ... it's just completely void of any supernatural shit whatsoever. So if you step through that door, you retain all your memories, you're still you ... just without any crazy magical bullshit wizard powers you've gotten over the years. You get to live out the rest of your life as a powerless, fragile human like me. How terrible.

Suffice it to say, people didn't take these options very well. Soon enough, F13 started holding an impromptu referendum on just what the fuck we-- and the Accord in general –were going to do. Seeing as of how the average cell can't order pizza without some ancient topping-based grudges being brought up (vampires aren't fans of roasted garlic, y'know), it goes without saying there's no 'one size fits all' solution for The Accord. Ultimately, every Accordist will have to make their own decision. But they're going to have to make that decision fast, because New Lebanon is slowly collapsing, and it (along with the freaky Waiting Room of Reality) will disappear within two months.

To be honest, a lot of the stuff brought up at the meeting went way over my head-- there was talk of super-realms and a wizard named Janice (or was it Janus?) and somebody who once met Fate and a bunch of other shit that my mere mortal brain couldn't follow. F13 (at least I think it was F13?) gave me some notes from the meeting to pass on to you at large. 

So, uh ... yeah. Some people went through The Black Door and there (including that crazy asshole who took Smith's hourglass). Others swore they never would, and started making plans on how to clean up this reality and what they'd do in the next. And somehow through it all there was a disturbing amount of discussion regarding Cora getting laid in the Waiting Room of Reality where her powers didn't work and/or me making out with Lilith in THIS reality (which, I should note, I absolutely did not on account of the terrifying ancient super vampire thing) just because Other-Me apparently had a thing for Other-Lilith, and also maybe fucking Badger will turn you into a wizard.

Some of y'all got fucked up priorities, is what I'm saying.

It's also worth noting I'm like five beers in as I write this.

Hold on. Six.

As the discussions went back and forth, I realized just why Dracula had picked a puny little mortal like me for the team. I can't throw fireballs or turn into a bite-monster or see ghosts ... but I'm a journalist, dammit, and so I'm doing what little I can to spread the word of just what the fuck happened, and what the fuck we have to do next. Even still, I'm just one guy, so I know I missed a lot of what happened. So again, if you hung onto any letters, or any recordings, or ... well, anything else that was there, let's work together and get that shit archived. These things deserve to be remembered.

As for the rest if you, you've got two months to make up your mind. If you stick around in this reality, fine ... but you've got a shitload of work to do. But if you wanted things to be easy, you wouldn't have joined the Accord, would you?

Me, I've made up my mind ... but I'm not telling you just what I'm gonna do. It's not that I don't trust you-- oh, wait, that's exactly it. Still, the last five years have been a hell of a ride, and I ... guess I can thank you for it? I mean, at least I survived, so that's saying something. Still, apart from some possible archiving, this will be my last post.

F13 always said that I stopped being the 'New Guy' a long, long time ago. She was right (as she usually is). So, as I say goodbye, I might as well do it under my own name. Godspeed and good luck, you terrifying bunch of haunted house maniacs.

Peter Willis

-Network Zero

-Accord Investigative Services

-Houston Cavalry