This was the worst Halloween ever.
For me, at least. Do you know why? It's
because in years past, all I had to worry about was finding the right
party and wearing some cheap costume so I could go get drunk and hit
on girls dressed up like sexy whatevers. Like one year, I ran into
some girls who were done up like the sexy three little pigs, which is
kind of weird, but I wound up with phone numbers for two out of
three, and that's not bad, right?
And yes, I know Halloween is a holiday
that celebrates being scared and everything, only in a fun way. You
know, somebody in a mask jumping out at you to make your girlfriend
all grabby, not in the 'holy shit I could actually die here' kind of
way. Which is exactly what I thought on at least two occasions that
night. But maybe that's normal for you people. And to be fair, nobody
died, so that's that.
Oh, and thanks to everyone who brought
food and snacks and stuff. Even Apophis chipped in (and thankfully
his contribution was still sealed from the store). And the best part
is, it was all, like, normal people food! The leftovers are in the
fridge in the corner, and we've got enough candy to give you
diabetes, so any of you people crashing at the Citadel help
yourselves.
So we began the evening with a memorial
service to Elias, the fairy-guy who showed up last month...and then
got himself eaten over in Lake Charles. To tell the truth, I never
really knew the guy, but at least he went down fighting the good
fight, right? And I guess he's kind of a lesson to the rest of us-
something to keep us all on our toes, y'know? Or maybe the lesson is
just 'don't go to Lake Charles, 'cause shit is fucked over there.'
Moving on, I went ahead and set up a
party game- namely, we watched the Steven Sommers classic, Van
Helsing, with two bits of posterboard available for those in the know
to mark what the movie got right, and what it got wrong. I've
included the results below, for posterity. Apparently the movie got
more wrong than it did right. Who knew?
But! It wasn't just a social evening
(it never is a social evening). So, as best I can figure, here's what
happened:
- THE FREAKY GOBLIN KID
So apparently, somebody threw a lot of
fake blood around the place, and set up some cheesy horror music, and
otherwise caused some trouble. After the good Dr. Jones did some
investigating, it turned out that this was due to the
fairy-portal-thing in the girls bathroom. A landing party consisting
of yours truly, Miss Tomorrow, Dr. Jones, Dr. Jones' big-husband,
and two of the fairy-girls who came over with Elias went in to check
it out. And by 'in' I mean we went THROUGH THE GODDAMN MIRROR. And,
for the record, I hate fucking Lewis-Carroll-Whatever-Land. I only
saw like the reverse-world of a run down bathroom, and it was still
terrifying. Just all backwards and...not right. Turns out that the
pranks were done by some horrible little midget-creature, which
someone told me was a Hobgoblin later. Miss Tomorrow talked to the
thing, and it ran away, and then we got back to real-people-land and
broke the mirror and that was that. I think we may have to go to a
'no mirrors' policy in the Citadel, just for saftey's sake.
- THE MISSING MORTAL KID
So around 9:45-ish, I get a call from
a guy who knows a guy over in the HPD, and it turns out one of the
dudes on Wayngro's CUT list just filed a missing person's report on
his son, last seen around Emmanuel Park. Miss Tomorrow also had a
vision on said kid, and said he was dead...but that didn't quite work
out to being so accurate, as when we sent a bunch of guys out to
investigate, they brought the kid back. Alive, that is. From what I
gathered, they had to go to hell to get him, or...something? I really
don't know. We've got the kid secured and sedated for the time being,
and soon wiser men than I will figure out what the hell to do next.
- THE NULL ZONE
So, null zones are A Thing? They're
actually kind of interesting, as within said zone, that cancels out
supernatural mojo, which means it falls onto boring normal guys like
Yours Truly to actually get shit done. So yeah, we checked out a Null
Zone out in Katy, and for now, it's taken care of. If you want
further details, talk to Brayker, as I'm leaving a lot of this in his
capable hands.
- CORA HAS WEIRD SHIT
So this might not have been a proper
'mission,' per-se, but I figured I'd put the word out that our lovely
quartermaster Cora has managed to get her hands on a whole pile of
whack-ass goodies from Red Tape. Go talk to her in order to get
details. Though it's worth noting that they're doing kind of a
prioritizing sort of thing, where the more useful you are, the more
cool shit you get. Except for me, that is. I think they're just
giving me widgets to keep me alive.
So yeah, that's all what happened. Rest
assured, dear readers, I'll keep you posted of later developments as
they arise. From a safe distance, at least.