Okay, so, I guess I should get to the
good part, and let everyone know what the hell we've been up to. Or
something. Unless there are CUT goons who have hacked into this list,
but it's okay, 'cause those guys should know what we've been up to
already, because we've been killing them in the face. Or something.
And by 'we' I mean 'those dudes who are scarier than I am'
which...means pretty much everyone, but I digress.
Anyway! I made it in late to the
official gathering this past Saturday, so I'm sure I missed a bunch
of stuff, but whatever. We also had a shitload of new people, which
didn't stop people from calling me “New Guy,” but that's how we
roll, I guess. As far as I could gather, new people consisted of:
Elias: A fairy. Like, a fairy doctor,
or something.
Maya: Also a fairy, who can turn into a
bat I guess? She likes stalactites.
The other fairy girls: Uh, Michelle and
Elaine? Or something? I forgot their names. They came through a hedge
and didn't seem that freaked out when I told them they were pretty
much doomed.
Ivan: He's good at killing things. He
also got hella fucked up on vodka, which is pretty much the best
response to the shit we're going through right now.
I'm probably missing some people here,
but I didn't know I was The Voice until the end of the evening, so I
wasn't really paying attention.
In any case, we DID get some shit done,
it's worth noting. See, the Cell had recently acquired a 'dirty
dozen' list of the top 12 most influential members of the Church of
Ultimate Truth in H-town. And I guess we're pretty damn
straightforward, 'cause we're working that shit like a grocery list.
First off, some wizard-y dudes and a
dead (ish) guy from Lake Charles went after a city Councilman who was
on The List. See, said Councilman had a thing for whores, and, after
a bit of journalistic guidance from Yours Truly (purely professional,
I might note), they were able to track the Councilman down, beat up
an Abomination, and then they did some crazy Jedi mind trick shit to
his brain so the CUT won't have their tentacles in him anymore. Oh,
and also they managed to close a Tear, which is pretty damn
impressive. Apparently, the way to close a Tear is by having LOTS OF
FEELINGS, which kind of strikes me as some Captain Planet My Little
Pony Friendship Heart Magic Shit, but what the hell do I know?
Meanwhile, our werewolf buddies hit up
the Deputy Chief (who was also on the list), beat him up, and threw
him in a truck, at which point some of our more brain-y individuals
will do horrible things to him in order to get intel but I guess
that's okay 'cause the dude was a bastard to begin with. I hope.
Also, at some point, Miss Tomorrow's
reflection kidnapped her out of the ladies room, which I guess is a
thing that can happen? But then she came back, because of all the
fairy people we had present, I guess? I don't know how this shit
works. Either way, I've taken the precaution of duct-taping black
construction paper over all the mirrors in both the mens and ladies
restrooms.
So at the end of the evening, we all
made it back in one piece (which is damned impressive, when you think
about how often we went off half-cocked), at which point various
appointments were made- Apophis (I don't know how to spell his name
right- that creepy one eyed bastard) is now our new Guardian, Ash is
still our Ritualist, I think Cora's our Quartermaster, and Yours
Truly is The Voice. And Brayker's in charge, of course, but we all
knew that already.
Oh! And we've officially named
ourselves the 42'nd Cavalry. Or maybe just The Cavalry, for short.
Because history. And Texas. I'm just a little worried though 'cause
now I'm afraid every other city is going to wait for us to pull their
asses out of their proverbial and/or literal fires now, just for
thematics sake.
And that's that, I guess. Keep fighting
the good fight, you horrifying monsters.
